Vomit Wars

Ok, so fair warning...do not read this post if you are:

a woman who has not yet had kids

a man who thinks he might want to have kids someday

a man who doesn't want kids ever (you wouldn't be here anyway, most likely - who am I kidding?!)

a man who has kids and says stuff like "Oh! Wow! The baby has a poopy diaper!" Loud enough for us to hear so that we come and save you...even though you would never ask us to come change it for fear of never living the whole "balance of work" thing down

a woman who is thinking of having kids soon (this may scare you away, and I definitely don't want to be responsible for THAT!) ;)

In other words, unless you are currently a mother, you have never been through this and I warn that you may find this post distasteful.

'Nuff said. Anyway, moving on...

The Vomit Wars have begun.

We have all been sick since Braden came home from the hospital...and thankfully, I have had the easiest time of it all. In fact, at this very moment, Mike is currently in the bathroom praying to that all-powerful porcelain god. I know, TMI, even for you iron-stomached mommas out there. ;) There's something about hearing someone vomiting, especially someone close to you, that pulls out all the empathy you are capable of.

I have been playing it as a competition of sorts, even posting it up on the white board for all to see, letting them each get an edge on the others, egging them on to not get beat in the game! I am sooo kidding of course, but I am keeping tally for myself so that I can keep track of who puked when and what, how many diapers were used in the filming of this sickness, and any medications that might be causing the whole mess.

As of Friday:
Vomit War Tally
Alex - 1
Braden - 5
Cole-4

It's dang hard to keep up on who needs more fluid, who might be allergic to this antibiotic and who might need some serious Pedialyte and a call to the doctor. At one point Cole drank his entire sippy cup full of cool water. I was psyched! Sitting in his highchair, he ate nothing, only drank. I'll take it. About 10 minutes later, all of that water was back out in his tray. Back to Square One. Now, add Mike to the white board and I just lost my parenting partner! I really don't know how people do this alone. I am fighting sleep because I know that as soon as my head hits the pillow, a cry will ring out in the night. So, I blog.

After B came home with remnants of his bronchiolitis in tow, the nice doctors told us to expect a little vomiting. You see, a little known fact is that kids can't purge the excess mucus any other way, since they can't blow their noses yet, it all ends up in their stomach and inevitably on the highchair tray, the carpet, the couch or in their sister's hair. Who knew?

So, we expected it. The other two were sick while B was away - we almost thought Cole would join him, but he skated through. So, vomiting expected there as well. And it happened. And happened some more. Thank God for those tall sides on the highchair trays! It contained inches of pukey liquid for less work in the end for me! Yahoo! It's still puke. I shouldn't be that excited. It still has to get from Point A to Point B. Age old dilemma - In the sink or the garbage? I change it up to make me feel like I am sometimes doing the right thing. Good times.

Already the endless laundry. Enter diarrhea. Never a welcome guest. And his explosive cousin, let's call him "Squirt", makes for a very messy bedfellow. Disgusted yet? I am. I soooo am. Blankets and sheets and pjs...just covered. Up to a load every few hours now.

On Sunday: (woke up at 10:30am, down for nap at 3:00, up at 7:00, down at 9:30) only awake 7 hours, and to get these kind of numbers!!!!

Vomit and Diarrhea War Tally
Alex - 0 vomit
Alex - 4 poop (can you still call it that?)
Braden - 2 vomit
Braden - 6 poop
Cole - 3 vomit
Cole - 4 poop

All three took a trip to the doc last Friday. The boys are recovering and had a mild ear infection, not bad, not even enough to be put on antibiotics. But, Alex has a severe double infection, so she was prescribed one. And since the boys still sounded junky, their noses were so full, their wheezes still there, and a hint of an infection, they were awarded one too. We left the office with $100 in prescriptions to pick up. Again. Ugh. How are we supposed to afford this winter?

We started the rounds, and just our luck, by Sunday afternoon, Squirt arrived with a vengeance. Every hour we were changing an exploded diaper - ok, so it was just me - that looked like wet sand. Can't feel good on an irritated bum. And it kept getting worse! Every change required a PJ change (we learned quickly not to put them in anything that needed to go over their heads!). The kids were starting to get rashes and were losing fluid like crazy. They weren't really eating before, now they stopped altogether. We put them to bed that night with a larger size diaper and also a cloth one fitted inside it. I had hoped it would absorb at least some of the mess overnight. Changing sheets in the middle of the night is near impossible if you want the other two to stay sleeping. Thankfully, we didn't have to go there. Braden was the only one who woke up early the next day with an urgent mess, but most of it was contained. Phew! I had nightmares of poop on the walls, floor and ceiling. His sheets were dirty though, so he slept in my arms in the rocking chair for the following three hours until the other two woke up needing to be cleaned. I have to admit it was kind of nice cuddling with my babe.

At some point throughout the day I started working on this brilliant yet extremely simple math equation:

Empty stomach + Harsh Antibiotic = Severe Diarrhea

Huh. I'm a genius. (DUH! Why didn't this thought come any sooner?!) The diarrhea and vomiting could be mimicking a stomach bug, but neither Mike or I were sick with that kind of bug too, only a sinus infection.

I called the doc and he wanted to test them without the antibiotic. We're still testing, 2 days in. So far, the tally has decreased dramatically, only a few, less explosive diapers each and I am happy to report, no more vomiting. Yay! It seems as though it was the antibiotic causing the problems. But....now Mike is sick with a stomach virus. Huh. Now, I'm confused! And they are still not really eating anything but bread. I'm watching for their tear production as it has definitely decreased..scary stuff, watching for dehydration in three sick kids.

Alex is not like herself at all, walking around like a whiny zombie. All she wants is a lap to sit in or a pillow to crash on. If neither is available, the floor steps in to substitute. It's so sad. I hate seeing them this way, and for so long! So, we're not out of the woods, yet, folks.

Anyway, they are all sick and I am typing away, hoping to keep them all sleeping, including Mike! And the next post will be back to the non-stereotypical allowance of readership. Enjoy!