Love Letters To My Children

Oh, my dear little Alex…who would have ever thought I would love having a daughter so completely?

You are my light, the shine in my day - someone I never knew I couldn't live without, until you were born. You are like an echo of me, only with a sturdy dose of your father to fill in all the gaps.  Every time I look into your deep blue eyes, so beautiful they make me gasp, I see the different kinds of woman you might turn out to be.  You are so sensitive and passionate, with a fierce temper and a feisty disposition.  You are aggressive and fight for what you want, even if it’s something you shouldn’t have.  

You are the most helpful toddler I have ever met, almost anticipating your brothers’ needs.  You are the first to clean up when asked, happily collecting stray toys with a smile, loving to please people in the act. Every time I watch you bring a cup of water to Cole just because he might be thirsty, or see you wheel Braden’s walker to him so he can follow you in your adventures, I want to cry, seeing how gracious and giving you have already become.  You amaze me. 

You share what you have, knowing you don’t need more than one, and it would make someone else happy.  You do this all by yourself, and you are just barely touching 2 years on this earth. You actively try to make others happy, if they are crying or unhappy (even me or Daddy), you walk up with that simple little trilling “hi-iiii.” and it makes everything better.  You can bring a toy to your brother when he is upset, set it in his lap and step back, looking expectant, and I know what you are trying to do.  Make it better. You love music and songs; you smile frequently, laugh even more and shout/scream for joy at all occasions. You dance, twirling around and around, looking up to meet my eyes as if you were just doing it all for me. 

You love to be mischievous too, that glimmer in your eyes as you look sideways at me, knowing all the time that what you are doing isn’t what you are supposed to be doing, but having all sorts of fun doing it. Sweet and loving, though you are quick to let us all know when you don't like something...I think the residents in the next state can hear it too. ;) You love people, the more the better – along with new experiences and love, they are like the air to you, you seem to crave them, to need them, and you attract them as a magnet, as moths to a flame. You’re magnetic.

You love meal time, which is a blessing to me – I love to see you relish in new foods, loving the taste and texture and the new experiences.  You so love your daddy, arms ever-outward, stretching for his protective embrace when he is in your sight. You love feeling protected and cozy, safe and warm, but you have an independent streak a mile wide. And talk about stubborn! Now that I look back on all I have written, I think with a smile that you did get much more from me than just the color of your eyes. 

You love to look pretty, the twinkle in your eyes so obvious as you look up to our approving appraisals of just how “pretty you look”, splaying your hands out as if to say you love the attention. We love to give it to you. You sign and talk so well – your memory is sharp, your awareness even sharper. You are taking to life as a triplet with happiness and ease, even though you knew nothing else, this is something that makes us happy and proud. You are….easy.  And that is something we will always be thankful for.

I love your bad hair days –which are every day – the way you sleep makes it frizz and fray, and until I “get around” to smoothing it, I love staring at the unkempt reddish-brown crop and laughing sweetly at just how cute you really look.  You are our Bella – which is to say you are gracefully ungraceful.  You trip over everything, or your own feet if nothing else is available.  I think it is your most endearing quality; getting up after each fall with dignity, using the back of your hand to wipe the hair from your face with the determination to never have that happen again…which of course it always does. And we love that about you. 

Everyone says that you are so serious!  You always have been – with that little crease in your forehead, the one that looks like you are concentrating so hard on the puzzle of life.  And then, quick as a wink - that smile flashes again, your forehead smooth once again. And you marvel in the world around you, taking simple joy in knowing what everything is called, pointing at an object with a wondering, “agabah?” – which means, what is that?  ….I think. So, I tell you, and watch your face light up with sheer joy at every single word.  Dresser, bowl, butterfly, tree. You want to know it all.

You are the first to spot me in the morning, coming around the corner of the stairs, and you shout for joy – shrieking in an adoring way, “Mommy!” and that is the best part of my day. Other than snuggling with you on the couch, of course. You love to hug and be hugged, to kiss and be kissed.  Your little walk is hilarious, your little bum wiggling back and forth twice as fast as your pumping arms.  You are always wiggling. Oh, and that giggle of yours…ah, is there anything sweeter? I can’t bear to be away from you even when I have to be, even when I need to be.  I love that you love me to hug you so snugly there isn’t a space between us, like I can imagine you will always be this sweet little baby girl forever.

My baby girl, I love you so...completely.