"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity,
it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
~ Agatha Christie

Alex, Cole and Braden - At 2 years, 2 months

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Another Day

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I found this post today on Facebook and was appalled at the person writing in... It made me wonder...do many people without kids wonder this?  It made me a little angry, annoyed and then a little sad.  Because it goes deeper than this.  Most people have no idea what others go through in life.  I confess to that many days. Many people are concerned with their own lives, absorbed by their own problems and sorrows and joys, with little time to give attention elsewhere.  And that is inherently a good thing, to be fully present in your own life.  That is a very good thing. Don't get me wrong, the ability to give attention and to notice the need for that attention is needed in this world.  But, to judge someone else who can't give that attention for whatever reason, not truly knowing what they are going through, what responsibilities they have every day, to be angry that they didn't call you?  That, well, that is a very bad thing.  

One of my favorite, thought-provoking and take-a-step-back quotes (Plato) is this one: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." And we all are.  Whether it be the daily grind of a stay-at-home-momma or watching your loved one fight cancer, there is always a day to get through.  A day, a gift, to enjoy despite the sorrows and the challenges, the monotony or the change, the loss or the bad emotion.  Sometimes that is hard to do.  We could all do well to remember that and make every effort to support each other and save the judgment for someone higher. We all need support - I know I do.  I am just in awe (and not in a good way) of how ignorant this particular query is.  

It is late, and I am tired - so I apologize for this little rant.  I guess I didn't realize how much that article bothered me until I started writing this post.  I was planning on putting it up because it made me laugh at first, and then I felt satisfied and almost vindicated in a way, toward all the people out there that wonder what a mom actually does who stays home with their kids all day. I have heard comments in the past, not to me, but to other mothers who just had their first and were privileged enough to stay home and raise their own child.  I had little choice, but it is what I have always wanted to do, this is where I belong, where I want to be.  Others with one made the heroic choice to lose one income, knowing that they might have to tighten their belts and it is a choice I highly respect.  But, before I judge the working mothers who might have been able to stay home, I will step back and remember that "everyone is fighting a hard battle". It is your own choice and one that should be respected no matter what, for it is one of the hardest decisions life presents to us. 

I hope I am not offending anyone out there reading this post. I do not mean offense in any way. I guess I am a bit peeved at the asker of this question and am aiming my annoyance at them.  I am truly trying hard in my own life not to judge others, for it is something I do without even thinking.  I am ashamed to admit that, but I do, no matter how hard I try not to.  I have posted that particular Plato quote everywhere so that I may see it on a constant basis and be reminded that we are all struggling and do not need others tearing us down, even if it is in their own mind.

I am rambling...

We have lost so many friends in the recent past because we were too busy to return phone calls. Too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed...and I know that no one blames us in our situation because it is so obviously life altering.  But the moms with a "normal" situation deserve that same slack too.  So, if you are waiting on a phone call and don't get it, or don't see them as often, please understand that life has thrown them their own curveball and they need to learn how to deal with it first before they are able to juggle it all.  We all have a learing curve with everything we do.  And shaping a little life is hard!  It's something I worry about screwing up every day, constantly watching my every word and action, trying to stay ahead of the curve (curve is the theme here!) all the time.  With food, play time, imaginative time, naps, snacks, learning situations, etc...there is always input going into those little brains and it's our job to monitor that 24/7 to make the best of what they are receiving!  Proactive has never been my strong suit.  ;)

Anyway, I will stop the rambling after this...I really didn't intend for this all to come out like this, I just typed and typed away!  So, again I apologize if I offended anyone with my words.  That was not the intent at all.  The exact opposite, really - to lift everyone up.  

I want to say "good job" and give a great big ((hug)) to all those out there who made it through another day, celebrating or not.  Another day of having to wait for your situation to change, another day of chemo, another day without the one you have lost, another day of changing endless diapers or cutting up food into itty bitty pieces and reading Goodnight Moon for the umpteenth time, another day of fighting for what you believe in, another day of movement when all you want is rest, another day of the same old, same old or constant, stressful change...Another Day.  I hope and pray that you can say, at the end of this day, it was all so worth it because it was a gift, another day.  

1 comment:

Christine said...

This is a great post! I have never seen the Plato quote before this, but it is definitely one to make you stop and think.